Changes

I have had few changes in my life time, today I was reflecting on how I felt about each one of those changes. The first change happened way back when I was just a toddlerwhen I left the comfort of my mother’s protection to begin my year one at primary school. It may be such a long time now but I remember my feelings as if it was yesterday. I had mixed feelings about this new phase of my life on the one hand I was afraid of spending time with total starngers, yet on the other I was happy to explore the new beginnings. I soon learnt that I needed to learn new skills of negotiating with the others in this new enviroment and wanting to fit in with the other first graders. It was soon clear to me that I was no longer the centre of the universe in this ne world of learning and that I could no longer have my own way. It was fun nonetheless  as my curiosity  made me realise that life had demands even at this stage as I had to do my home work before the following day. I looked forward to going back home at the end of each day to the comfort of my mother’s company.

Then came the changes of puberty and teenage phase, this was the most overwhelming and frightening because of the changes which were taking place in my body. I noticed that suddenly I was very self conscious more concerned about my looks and how my peers thought about me and the need to belong.  I wanted to be like everyone elseso that I did not feel I was being left behind. There was always the pressure of wanting to be close to someone special – someone I liked and who liked me as well.  Like all the other changes it was very scary but exciting at the same time, I experienced heartbreaks, betrayals, rejection and failure at this phase  this came as a result of wanting to have a go at everything. The pressure of this phase was passing exams as they determine the kind of future I was going to have  I loved this change no matter how challenging it was.

Then came the change from being a dependent to be responsible for my own life. This change was characterised by job applications, attending interviews the biggest challenge being making an impression to would be employers.  Once I had secured my first job there was the whole issue of earning, managing my own finances and then flying the nest. This change was the most serious one as I had to make big decisions which shaped my whole life. I must say I do not regret the career path I chose now with hind sight that is all I ever wanted to be I would not have been anything else than what I am now.

Finally came the change from being single to being married which was full of drama as  I had to make life work being both a professional and a married woman  like every other change this one had its challenges and its joy. Writing about these changes with hind sight makes me realise that I was very fortunate as many things did work for me, the things which did not work were very few compared to the things that did work.  I love my life with all its ups and downs because that is my history. I am still stillgoing through a lot of changes the difference is  now I welcome change and  all that it brings in my life.

 

 

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