The language I wish I could speak.

The fact that I speak three languages is huge which means I am capable of speaking other languages. The one language I would like to speak is Hebrew. Why Hebrew you may ask, the answer is it is tge language of the Bible.

Once some thing is translated sometimes the original meaning is lost in the process of translation. When I was studying Theology for some reason I did not choose Hebrew as one of my courses as I was keen on political Theology which I thought would be handy as I navigate the politics of my own country and of the wider world.

Working in the church as I do, the Bibke is the source of everything, as you read the Bible you do come across words which may have been translated but have a Hebrew word in brackets That tells you that tge translation does nit convey what the Hebrew is saying. If like me you do not speak the language you are not the wiser even with Hebrew word in brackets.

I will make an effort to give a try and learn Hebrew.

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The song that speaks to me

I have three songs which speak to me a lot. For the purpose of this post I will use the one by ABBA called ‘Slipping through my fingers’ The song talks about the challenge of a mother when she has to let go of her child as the child begins to live an independent life.

From the day the child was born both the child and mother bond together the mother providing and protecting the child. The day the child go say to nursery school the mother has feelings of not trusting her child to anyone else yet on the other hand the child is growing and need to find its own feet.

The feelings of loss of the bond that had developed between her and child slipping away. She feels she had frozen the moments they spent together capturing every thing that happened niw that hat the child is starting to live a life away from the mother.

Nothing prepares any parent for that time of letting go yet that is a natural progression that children will have to fly the nest at some point.

Showing Love

The prompt for yesterday was ‘How Do You Show love? My reaction to the prompt was by asking a question in my head ‘to who?’ which gave me me an idea of how to write this post.

Showing love or perhaps expressing love will depend on the the relationship you have with the one you are showing the love to. The different relationships which springs to my mind are husband and wife, parents and children, friends to just mention a few for the purposes of this post.

Husband and wives will show love to each other by just living each other. Different cultures will have ways to do this some cultures are demonstrative by that I mean: they will publicly hold hands and kiss others like my own are not demonstrative but have ways to show love to the person they love

Generally the husband who love his wife will appreciate her and let her know that. Will remember her special days like birthdays etc, by bringing her flowers or taking her out for a meal. My word the wife will show her love to her husband in so many ways . Just making their house into a home, there is a difference between a house and a home at least as far as I am concerned. A house is a place where people live with each other, a home is were people experience love and warmth. A wife will show love by creating an atmosphere in the home were the husband can experience peace.

Parents will show love to their children by providing and protecting, more importantly by instilling values that will make them into descent human beings in the society. Parents show love by valuing each of their children in their uniqueness.

Showing love to one’s friend(s) for me is being there for them in rain or sunshine. Giving support telling them they truth when necessary. A friend who points out your mistakes means well but shying away from telling the truth means you do not care what happens to them. Every correction done in love is valuable and only friends do that.

I am sure each person will have different ways of showing love to those close to them. I want to conclude with the way to show love to the wider community by one phrase ‘do unto others that which you would like them to do to you.’

My favourite Author

I would not call myself an avid reader but I do like reading. Sunday’s prompt for Blogganuary challenge made me realise how little I read. I tend to want to read books by Christian writers which means I do not have any particular favourite.

The one auther who I can claim to have read most of her books is Catherine Marshall. Sadly Catherine died in 1983. Out of all he books she wrote the ones which I enjoyed reading are: Meeting God at Every turn, A Man called Peter (which was about her husband and the man he was), Something More, The Helper, To live again and Andventures in Prayer which enhanced my own personal Prayer life.

There was something about the way Catherine wrote which spoke to me. There were so many things which came out of her story telling which made sense to me.

I have read a variety of other books by different authors, what this prompt has done is challenge me to decide which author I may want to continue reading their work.

I must mention that I have read a lot of books by different Theologians. This was for my Theological studies do I have a favourite there? This something I need to decide now that I do read regularly.

My Dream Job

The prompt for yesterday was: what was your dream job as a child. From the moment I started making sense of life I was clear that I did not want to be a secretary. The person I called a secretary was that person who worked with a type writer mind you this was before the computer era, (which would still apply) I wanted to work with people not machines.

While I was clear as to what I did not want to do I was not sure what working with people meant. During my gap year I got a job with a cosmetic company as a beautician, I loved talking to people ( mainly women) who loved to make up their faces. I did not actual like what the job involved which was telling customers what products to use on their faces. I knew the products of this particular company were rubbish and I never used them myself but my job was to encourage people to use the products.

As a Christian I felt I was not being honest so I quit the job as it not sit well with my own faith. However it is the interacting with people in this job which confirmed what my career path was. It was at that point that I applied to go to the School of Social work and qualified as a social worker. Social sciences course covers a variety of areas.

Once I qualified there were opportunities of jobs in government and non governmental organisations. My first job was being a Youth Worker in the Methodist church, working with you people was the best. It is so humbling now when some of those young people I worked with tell me how I contributed to what they became.

I then was asked to head the national training department in the Methodist whose responsibility was to train all who held leadership positions in the church which I did for nearly 30 years.

I am so thankful to God that my life career is about the job I ever dreamt doing from when I was a child. I strongly believe that all the people I worked with made me the person I am.

My favourite colour

This is very difficult because although I have a favourite colour which is lilac which represents innocence, youthfulness, spirituality and tranquility lilac does not influence me in the decisions I make when for an example I am buying my clothes.

I also understand that the colour lilac represents deep caring for other people, apparently the colour is highly sensitive. Other words associated with lilac are enthusiasm to be helpful wanting to make life easier for everyone. Approachable. Understanding and mindful are also associated with the colour lilac. It is also said lilac has an element of immaturity because of the pink undertones which gives it a childlike wonder.

Up until today I had never bothered to look up what the colour lilac represents. All I know is I was always drawn to lilac. My bedrooms have always been painted lilac yet all that the colour represents reflect most of my personality traits. I guess on reflection that is reason I like the colour lilac.

The Happiest day of my life

It was on December 18 2008 when I was conferred my two degrees BA(HONS) and a Masters in Contextual Theology. Why was it the happiest day? Because I had fulfilled one of my life’s dreams studying Theology as a lay person with no intention of becoming a clergy person.

I am a am a qualified social worker studying Theology was the right thing to do because putting these fields together added value to my vocation. I needed to understand how society works and how people function in order to do what I do.

I had worked for 29 years and I needed to re-invent my self. Deciding to go back to studying again after a long break study was very exciting. When you are at school studying for a life’s career it is all about passing exams so that you can go to the next level there by qualifying in your field of choice.

As a mature student studying is about relating what you are studying to life which you have already experienced. The only pressure I had was to have time to read and research for the modules giving me an opportunity to real take in what I was reading.

I had chosen to study Theology so I was self motivated because I was doing what I wanted to do so studying was actually enjoyable. There were subjects during my time in school which I would not have wanted to do but because those subjects were a package of some qualification I had to do them even if I loathed those subject. I was not self motivated I had to force myself to put in hard work in those subjects.

I am glad I did decide to go back to study again because it gave me an opportunity to get to know myself better and be proud of myself that I was capable to achieve what I set myself to do.

Anxiety

Saturday’s Blogganuary prompt was ‘What fear have you conquered’ my fears are many but anxiety seem to be one which really affects me greatly.

What lies under my anxiety is the feeling of not being good enough. In some of the posts I have made reference to the breakdown of my parent’s marriage. It does not matter how many assurances are given by psychologists about children not being responsible for what happens to their parent’s relationship children will still blame themselves for their parent’s marriage breakdown.

As children we later learnt that the reason our father walked out on mum was because they had had us five girl children and mum was pregnant and dad did not want to see yet another girl child being born so he walked out.

That knowledge of not being wanted planted the idea that I was not good enough resulting in me wanting to prove myself. I put a lot of effort and hard work in everything I did be it in school at work or anywhere so that I would prove that I was capable.

I used to be a training officer in the Methodist church, every time I had to go and conduct a course I would be very nervous worrying if the course would be good. People never saw how I would be shaking for at least the first 15 minutes of me starting the course. That happened even when I was leading worship, I get so nervous that I do not have breakfast before leading worship.

I can not say I have actually conquered my anxiety it still happens every time I am to stand infront of people especially those I do not know and who do not know me.

As I have matured I no longer worry about the outcome of whatever I do, I still work hard to prepare but am no longer anxious how it turns out. I am no longer anxious so I guess that is the way I am working at conquering my fear. Approval is no longer something I crave for now.

Chores

Today’s blogganuary prompt is ‘What chore do you find most challenging’ for me it is IRONING

Every item that is ironed looks beautiful but I just find ironing challenging. I know nowadays one can get bed sheets that do not need ironing yet I still buy the old fashioned ones the ones you have to iron.

I was raised up by a mother who loved to rinse her bed sheets in water with a little bit of starch. To iron that I tell you was a challenge yet the end product are crisp fresh bed sheets you enjoy sleeping in.

Another item which I just loathe ironing is man’s shirts those pleats by the cuffs are very difficult to get right yet a man in a well ironed shirt looks very smart

Do we need to iron clothes? Yes I think we do for the reasons I yave already mentioned above. In Africa we hang clothes to dry in the sun. I remember the domestic science teacher instilling in us that clothes hanged to dry in the sun must be ironed. According to her the sun have some certain particles which fall on the clothes as they dry which are not good for the skin causing some skin irritation. Ironing clothes does get rid of the particles.

I never researched on this like every one else I just took her word for it. Once the washing has been done automatically you iron all that has been dried in the sun. If you are a big family it means a lot to be ironed.

I have been living overseas for the past twelve years yet ironing is one of the chores I have to do once a week if I can manage. I can not say I enjoy it as it is one of the chores I find most challenging.

From my Father

The prompt for yesterday was, ‘What is the most memorable gift you have received’ I received the gift on my 40th birthday.

I need to put this gift in context so that those who read can understand why this gift was so special. My parents’ marriage broke down when my siblings and I were still in school. The older ones were either at college or secondary school, the younger ones including myself were still in primary school.

Dad decided to walk out on mum and us six children and went to live in a different city which was 220 miles away from the family home. This left my mum as the sole bread winner. Through out this time dad did not want to know he actually found himself another wife and started a new family.

Mum did the best to make sure we were provided for. Mum was fortunate to have a network of her own family who supported her morally and financial to provide for us. Mum made sure we got birthday presents and Christmas presents and never got any presents from dad in our entire lives.

Fast forward we all finished school and each went to live where our jobs took us. On my fortieth birthday my sister decided to throw a surprise party and had all family decend at my house on my birthday which happened to be a Saturday that particular year.

My father had been told about it and decided to come this was the first time ever for my dad in my forty years to celebrate my birthday with me. He obviously was beginning to realise he had not been around. As he did not know me well he had no idea what to get me for my birthday so he put a hundred dollars in an envelope as my present.

Of alll the presents 🎁 I received from my mum and siblings this envelope was the ‘most memorable gift I had ever received’ why because it was from my dad. It was so memorable that I slept clutching the envelope on my chest with tears in my eyes through out the night. My mum asked why my dad’s present had affected me that much.

This was the first time my father had expressed his love for me, it was not the amount but the mere acknowledgement that I was one of his children whom he had walked out on those many years ago.

Any child needs the assurance that its parents values them no matter what may happen between them as a couple each of them has a responsibility for the children.

If you ask me I do not think I remember what I bought with the money. What was important was that for the first time my dad had given me a present and had acknowledged that I was one of his offspring. My father being present for my birthday was the best present I had ever received throughout my forty years if my life.